We are compelled to do what we have been forbidden.

Time passes...
Even when it seems impossible.
Even when each tick of the second hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise.
It passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does...
Even for me.

Hey all. Just wanted to let you know that I'm going to start blogging again... I'm currently updating everything that I haven't been able to get to while my parents had that parental control on.

Canada was fun.
Lift was interesting.
My cousins came here from Chicago for a week.
My Aunt was married.
I'm 16!
I have my permit!
I'm a Sophomore now. (10th grade)
School started Thursday. I have decent classes.
My sister is a freshman. It's weird seeing her in the school.
I'm over at Caroline's right now.
I'm extremely tired.
Cardboard Testimonies this weekend! Incredibly scary to get up on stage and do them.
YouTube 'Cardboard Testimonies' if you don't know what I'm talking about.
I'm getting a kitten tomorrow!

I hope you're caught up! Get off my back about blogging now, kay? =]

Stress?

I'm fairly nervous. I don't like finals. Or regents. I don't like either.
But on the bright side, regular classes are now over TODAY! Too bad finals start tomorrow.

Three 100 minute classes Thursday:

• English
• Global
• Gym

Three 100 minute classes Friday:

• French
• Keyboarding
• Earth Science

Two 100 minute classes Monday:

• AIS
• Math

My classes are nicely spaced, I think. Of course, I don't have finals in math and science. Just review because the regents are next Tuesday morning and Friday afternoon...

But I'm still nervous that I'll fail the regents and have to take the classes over again with Sweaty Armpits & Shepshep. *Cringes*

I Like Food.

The 30 Hour Famine was awesome! I had a great time. Except for the whole being hungry part. Living for Later played, and we mostly just hung out Friday. The majority stayed up till about 2:20-4:00 supposedly but I think that's wrong. Nobody really knows. We played catchphrase and we were hanging out in the sanctuary talking, while all of the adults except Mr. Straight went to bed at around 10.

Saturday we woke up at 8:30. That sucked. A hand full of us signed up to go to the City Mission to help. We had three options to choose from. It was either City Mission, Samuel's to paint, or staying at the church to clean. When we got there, it was incredibly hot and humid. We had to sign a waver, I think. I don't know why. Then we split up into two groups, and the group I was in had to do yard work and mulch. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be... I had pictured myself knee deep in mulch with flip flops on. I got some sun too. =] It was difficult to walk through their kitchen though. So much *good smelling* food!!!!!

After working for 3 and a half hours, we headed back to the church, only to head back out again. Only this time, it was to the mall for a scavenger hunt. We got into groups of 5, and we had to do the most ridiculous things ever. It was awesome. We got yelled at in Boscov's for going up and down the escalators (or...running up the down...and running down the up) too many times. Apparently they called the very scary mall cops, but I didn't see any.

We finally broke the fast after the 5:00 service ended. It was the best tasting food ever. I love pasta. I have pictures of the weekend on my flickr, so check them out. =]


{Wednesday classes end.
Thursday finals start. End on next Monday.
Next Tuesday & Friday are Regents.}
Summer!!!! (&& Glory Day ;)

My So-Called Problem.

I'm pretty sure my life is hitting a low point right now. I'm being crunched for time. Once I get past the 20th, I'm free. (Practically) Hopefully I get a job soon, because I want to drive sometime this century.

Anyway, I keep getting these stupid letters saying something similar to this:

Just wanted to let you know, your idiot child is in jeopardy of failing the entire course. Because he/she is in jeopardy of failing, we've taken the liberty to sign your child up for a speaking proficiency exam at the end of the year so that he/she gets a better grade. Or... so that we look better. Feel free to yell at your child and be pissed off with no end in sight.

It's for french. This has happened once before about a month ago. I went to my guidance counselor, and he said it's impossible that I can fail the course. I've gotten B's in that class all 3 quarters. No possible way, period. Then, sometime last week, I got my iPod taken away for the entire day in French for checking the weather for a friend. What the heck. Then, it gets better. One of the vice principals decided to call and inform my parents that if I get it taken away again, I'll get suspended. I'm telling you, my french teacher has it out for me.

Aside from that, I think I'm going to play field hockey in the fall. I went to an info meeting during activity period, (complete waste of the few remaining, by the way), and I'm definitely considering doing it. I have no idea how to play, though. Mary is going to attempt to teach me, but I'm still sort of uneasy about that. It's a tad safer than rugby, that's for sure. Apparently it isn't. I just found that out. Great.

I got 6:39 on the mile, second to a 6:38. My best time ever running the mile for school. I feel pretty good about it. I do feel bad, though, for Mary. She threw up on the last 200m. It was kind of discusting... I went with her to the nurse. It sucks for us because we have lunch right before gym. It's hard to run with a full stomach.

I'm going to go to bed. Hopefully my weekend won't blow up in my face anymore.

Re-decor.

That would be the Clifton Park campus sanctuary... With some redecorating going on for the big move with Malta. The ceiling is being spray painted with some special chemical in it. I found a whole bunch of it on the production booth Sunday morning. It's black (obviously) and it feels like really fine dirt or sand. The nastiest stuff to get on your skin and/or clothes...

Speaking of redecorating, I went shopping with a friend of mine the other day, and I finally bought a cover for my iPod! About time, I know. Most of them were really ugly... It took me forever to find one I really liked. I also bought The Host by Stephenie Meyers. I finished it. It's a pretty good book. I didn't think it was nearly as good as her Twilight series though. (Next book coming out August 2nd!! Two days before my birthday!) I have to reread it though. There are so many details in that book, my head was hurting.

I have my Global (Social Studies) final tomorrow. DBQs are always fun... I can't wait until school is over!! =] Three weeks left of classes. Four weeks if you count finals and regents. I'm scared that I won't pass the regents. That I'll have to repeat the class and/or go to summer school. Scary! I want summer.

Tonight is Part One of the finale for American Idol!!!!!! We all know who I'm rooting for. By the way, I heard that one of the judges, Paula Abdul is singing tonight. Does anyone even listen to (or like) her anymore...?

Irregular...

I've been busy with school, cut me some slack. I can't blog when I have a ton of homework and tests to study for... ha ha, right.

• I got my cyst removed on Tuesday. I don't really like it when doctors say, "This shouldn't hurt at all," when it really hurts like hell. Maybe I have low tolerance of pain or something. The orthopedics was across from a social security place, and on the other side of the orthopedics was another government building, and practically the entire side of it all windows. It was kind of cool since they reflected like mirrors, but I couldn't see inside. Makes you wonder what goes on in those buildings...
  
  
• My braces don't hurt anymore! This is a very good thing. I can eat anything. Anything except apples. I can't bite down on apples without sheer pain. I also now have to put up with everything I eat getting stuck in them... Gross.
  
  
• Track is over! No more taking the bus home/to a friends house and feeling guilty about it. I thought I had a pretty decent season overall. I am going to go to a gym that opened near by and *try* to stay somewhat in decent shape...
  
  
• New cellphone charger... But only one. If you know my sister and I, we don't taking sharing too well. It's very... difficult. She always takes it, and doesn't give it back. I have to take it when my battery is beeping at me to charge it, because I always forget to get it. I, of course, am a different story. I always give it to her whenever she needs it, being the loving sister that I am...

Besides the fact that I am still currently jobless and broke (hopefully that will change soon enough) those are my updates. Today is half day, so I'm stuck home. Anyone doing anything interesting? =]

Tired.

I'm not really in the mood to blog.

• I just got my bottom braces earlier this afternoon. They don't hurt right now, it just feels kind of weird. (Ask me if they hurt tomorrow. =P) My mouth is sore... Which is expected when your mouth was stretched far beyond it's supposed to. My mouth also tastes bad... Bleh. On the bright side, I got to miss half of science and AIS.
  
  
• My phone charger is broken. That means my sister and I both have dead cellphones. (She lost hers, and has been using mine for the time being... I have a suspicion that she broke it.) If you've been texting me and haven't been getting a response, that's why.
  
  
• I would really love to sleep. Unfortunetly I have to read +200 pages and do a book report by next Thursday. I have a Unit test in Global next Tuesday. Speaking test in French tomorrow. Two labs due in Science (and review sheets). Maybe some Math review sprinkled somewhere inbetween. Not to mention the fact that I'm TIRED.

Cracked.

I somehow have a crack on the left corner of my iPod screen. From the top, right through my Safari icon. Not a tiny, cute little scratch, mind you. Now, the first thing anyone says when they use my iPod is, "Holy crap, what happened to your screen!?"
You can't help but notice it. Like a single huge red zit on the very tip on anyones nose. Or like a big mole on somebodies face. It's tough to explain how it happened, because I don't even know. It's not that I don't take care of it, because I do. It has become essential, as weird as that sounds. I protect it with my life. (Okay, maybe not... But you get my point.) I got it for a christmas present, so you can't even imagine what my parents said...
I believe it happened somewhere in my bag, but I wouldn't be able to tell you beyond that. Everything still works fine though. Do you have any idea how much it costs to have the screen replaced? $150 and above. I don't have that kind of money--or any, for that matter--to spend. It's seriously bugging me. I miss my sleek screen.

I'm getting dumped with a ton of homework. My english and science teacher said this was the easiest quarter of the year. Such lies! I think it's ridiculous, and I'm pretty sure that people would agree with me. I'm beyond ready for warm, lazy summer days around the pool... 6 weeks left!

Maybe Not This Year...

The whole missions trip thing isn't probably going to work out this year, but I'm definitely going to go next year. There was some miscommunication, so I'm kind of disappointed. Weird thing is that I'm still excited and I don't understand why.

I'm grounded for not doing dishes on Monday. Not fun.

Anyway, two friends of mine created blogs today. Another is going to make one soon pretty soon. I think it's awesome! They said I was their inspiration. They've been reading my blog for a little while, and so they decided to blog now. I love it. You guys should comment once in awhile. ;]

I was looking through digg, and this caught my eye. 21 Ways to Shoot Better Photographs.

I Wish I Was Going To Disney...

I just noticed... My last post was my 100th post! Pretty cool, right? It's pretty simple math if you look over at my archives and add the numbers up, if you don't believe me.

But anyways... My PowerPoint went pretty good. I'm usually more nervous about presentations than I normally should be. Tomorrow I have a Unit Test in Global. Half hour of questions, then the rest is a gigantic thematic essay. After that I'm going on a field trip to a Planetarium for science.

A bunch of my friends are going to Florida with our school over the next several days. They are in chorus or they play an instrument. I'm kind of jealous.

I have the worst headache. I'll blog tomorrow...

I Need You.

Have I said that third quarter was the worst? Silly me. For the record, it's fourth quarter. It's not even May and I'm stressed out about grades. I've acknowledged the fact that it is absolutely and completely ridiculous to be stressing, but I still am. I've been listening to Take My Hand by Shawn McDonald for a little while, but it's not quite helping.

Today, after three weeks, I went to the doctors to finally get the cyst in my left hand checked out, and apparently it's on or underneath a tendon. Weird. I have to go to a specialist to see if I need to get surgery. I do NOT want surgery for a few reasons: I take keyboarding... So what would I do for 80 minutes? Write out what everyone else is typing? I don't think so. Plus I do this little hobby of mine, and if I got surgery the time I spend on the computer would be seriously hindered. I've never had surgery. I've never even had to go to the hospital. Ever. So I'm kind of freaked out about it.

Tomorrow I have to present my research paper in "commercial" form via PowerPoint for English. I really hate oral presentations. Way too much unnecessary anxiety for me. Having to get up in front of my class is a big enough of a challenge, but then I wonder if I'm reading too fast, or not fast enough, or if I look and/or sound like a complete retard... Public speaking is not one of my few fortés... Hopefully it goes better than what I'm expecting.

Just Another Day.

Today I did a whole bunch of cleaning for my mom. It was beautiful out, so all of the windows were open. I love it when it's nice out, it makes my day five times better. After that I went tanning for a little while outside. (I don't think I'm ever going to go tanning in a booth.) Then I slept for a good 3 hours. I'm going to miss my afternoon naps when I go back to school, to be completely honest. They are very nice to say the least. At around 6:45 my mom and I left to go to Wilton to go shopping. What is normally a 25 minute drive became practically a 45 minute drive because she missed the exit we were supposed to get off at. She was in the middle of a story, and she never pays attention to where she's going when she's talking. Unfortunetly, it felt like 20 minutes to the next exit and back. It was funny for me, but my mom was really pissed. Shopping was fun though, so it was okay. ;]

Tomorrow I'm going to church at 8 a.m. (ridiculous), then after I'm getting a ride to Saratoga to hangout with a group of friends for the rest of the day. VIP Night is at 6, so I will be going to that as well. I doubt I'll be able to blog tomorrow, so that's roughly my day.

School on Monday... Not quite looking forward to that...

No Sleep.

It's finally break! Too bad I'm completely exhausted... I got like, no sleep at all this entire week. I'm not going to get any tonight either.

We got report cards today! I have an 87 overall average. I went up in all my classes, except math... But only down two points. So I guess it's not that bad.
Tonight I'm heading over to Carolines house to have breakfast for dinner with a bunch of people, then afterwards we're going to another friend's birthday party in Saratoga until around 12. I probably won't sleep for a few hours after that anyway. Like I said, no sleep. Saturday I'm chillin with Caroline all day, and probably going to church in the afternoon. Sunday is church, then youth group in the afternoon.

Monday and Tuesday is nothing. Hopefully some well needed sleep.
Wednesday I'm spending the day with the Wises.
Thursday is the Skillet and Thousand Foot Krutch concert. I'm bringing a friend of mine for her birthday. I can't wait!!!!!!!!!!!
Friday I'm hanging out with friends for most of the day.

That was a rough picture of what I'm doing this coming week. Not extremely busy, but it's decent. =]

Oh yeah, and I have practice from 9-10:30 a.m. everyday. We have to keep a log of every workout we do over break. It's going to be fun!

In Suspension.

Just a few updates:

• It's 4th quarter! Finally. Now only less than 8 weeks of school left until the summer. It's weird how time goes by quickly... But now it gets harder. This week has been the roughest, as far as tests, projects, and homework goes. It's like they plan to have it all due on the SAME DAY. Thursday. Not quite the end of the week, but far enough into it so that we can't slack off until Friday. Or you have to turn in everything 2 days earlier if you're leaving to go to Myrtle or something. Oh, and we get our report cards tomorrow during homeroom. Hopefully I did better this quarter.
  
  
• I finally got a watch! It's kind of a big deal, because I've needed one since forever for track. It's pink and I love it. I'll be wearing it all the time now.
  
  
• I'm BEYOND ready for vacation to start!

When Angels & Serpents Dance.

I got back from a meet @ Mohonasen at around 8:30ish. I ran a 4x400m relay, and an 800m. I got 4th, out of like 20 distance runners, with 2:47 in the 800m. My coach told me to get below 2:50, since I don't normally run 800's, so I think I did pretty good. 1st in the relay, but I don't know the time.
(Update: I got 72 for the relay. 3 seconds off my best time. I'm slightly annoyed about that.)

I also got a 98 on the 30 week math test. I'm extremely happy about that. Report cards come out on Friday... More details later.

P.O.D. came out with a new album yesterday. I like it so far...

I took this picture earlier at the track. I thought it was pretty!

Long Day. Short Post.

To put it simply...

I got the top of my right ear peirced! I love it.

I forgot my usb cord at Carolines. My iPod is dead.

I'm eating pudding with whipped cream. I'm so fat.

I've done no homework.

I'm excited tomorrow is going to be 62!

I can't wait for the Skillet & Thousand Foot Krutch concert!

Vertical/Nine12 was pretty great last night.

My hand is much better.

Some people really bug me.

I have a meet on Thursday.

I'm thirsty.



I think I should go to bed...
=]

Tales That Must Be Retold.

It's been a crazy few days, that's for sure. They just had a baby girl! I got a text from Jon at 4 a.m. saying how it's for real this time, so of course I couldn't go back to sleep. I was practically bouncing off the walls for the entire morning until finally he said the baby was born and in healthy condition. When I got to school I decided to see if there were any new events happening... That's when I first got it. The pop-up saying how the iPod couldn't connect to the server. I figured the server must be down, so I didn't think too much of it until about 2 hours from then in Global. My Global teacher is a computer geek, and sometimes uses the Internet to teach our class, so I figured I'd ask him about what was going on with the server. He said that they were blocking the wireless connection, to stop teenagers like me from looking up porn on Youtube or something. I, of course, made a sarcastic remark of my own, that will not be repeated. =]

Some other stuff going on that I was going to write about... But I'm thinking it's just not worth my time, nor my emotional capacity to blog about right now. So I'll write about my upcoming weekend:

- Tomorrow is an important day for track... So I can't skip this practice... Dang. =]
- Friday is a half day, so I *might* be going to the Wises to see Abi in the afternoon, and going with them to Paul's birthday party. Then sleeping over and spending Saturday with Caroline.
- Sunday is church, then Vertical/Nine12 is starting up! Should be interesting...

Somethings In Life Are Unforgetable.

Last year I posted a blog about how much my life has changed over the past few Easters. This year I plan to do it again, just not as lengthy.

This year I, once again, went to the Clifton Park campus for the 2 services. I wore a dressy shirt and jeans. Nothing elabrate like last years outfit. The first service was packed! The second was full too. Actually, not really... But there were more people than normally though! Ha. After church my mom, sister, and I went to Starbucks. I, of course, bought a Mocha Frappachino. It's heaven in liquid form with whipped cream. No lie.
Afterward, we went home and vegged for a few hours. Around 5, we ate our Turducken. It's Turkey, Duck, and Chicken... It mostly tasted like chicken, though. Then I went to the Wises to watch Star Wars... The Empire Strikes Back, I think it was called. But I really just wanted to see Ben. ;]

No rewinds, no second tries. Here's what has changed:

• I went to Lift Camp over the summer. It did change my life, but for better or worse? I have yet to answer that question myself. So much stuff happend after that week, it's debatable if it was even worth it.

• Yes, he and I did "break up" or however you would like to classify it. I'm over it. You should be too.
  

• Friends of mine are moving back to Canada. I'm sad about that. They're amazing, and he was my mentor, but the upside is that I get to go and visit them!

• I pretty much survived 9th grade. I was so nervous at the beginning of the year, it's almost [but not quite] funny to look back on. I've settled into a core group of friends, and I'm comfortable. But I still have 3 months left... Anything could happen.
  
  
• When I look back and read some of my blogs, I cringe. I truely hope my writing skills are better now.
  
  
• Last year, I was told that I was supposed to create my own student production team for Vertical/Nine12. Unfortunetly, that fell through after several events. I haven't thought about it since then. Now, pratically a year later, I've been asked to make one again. I have a little bit of mixed feelings about it, but I'm doing it anyway. It's kind of strange, though. I'm not nearly as nervous as I was last year.
  
  
• I've once again realized I have the most amazing friends. I've gained so many over the past year, I don't know where I would be without them.

Those are probably the biggest changes in my life, I guess. If I remember something, I'll put it up.

Lets Spend Tonight on Top of the World.

I haven't blogged since Monday... I'm slacking.

Tuesday/Wednesday- Remember that outline that I was supposed to write over the weekend? Well, I didn't really do it. I handed it in the next class after it was due, spending basically the entire night before on it. My teacher handed it back at the end of class, since we were watching To Kill a Mockingbird, and he said I would've gotten an "A" grade, if it was handed in on time. I got half credit. Oh well.

Thursday- I seriously almost cried in math. My math teacher... He's one of, if not the most sarcastic person I've ever met. But that's why I look forward to math now. Because he is so funny. He picks on like, 3 or 4 specific people each class. It's usually the people that are obnoxious, and that's what makes it enjoyable. But Thursday, a friend of mine and I were having problems with understanding the homework. She sits to my direct left, and we trade advice when we don't understand something or whatever. We asked for help, maybe 4 or 5 times. That's not really that bad. But each time he came over, he'd make some stupid ass comment.
Now, I can usually take criticism in slight blows in public, heavier in private, like a one-on-one type of thing. I've never been made fun of that bad in my life in a classroom. I can't explain it here, because I wouldn't be able to tell it right, but I know my face was hot with embarrassment. He laid off after that though, because I think he saw me wipe my eyes. (I didn't cry, there was just moisture... Just to clear that up. =P)
But the strange thing about this is, I was amused. This is why I think he's funny. He can be a complete jerk, don't get me wrong, but it's like... I don't know. It's kind of like what used to happen with a friend of mine, when he used to make fun of me. He used to (and still does) make me feel like a total retard at times, and a long time ago, he used to make me feel the same way my math teacher did... Haha, maybe I am just a retard. Oh well.

Thursday Night- Alicia & I met up with some peoples at Starbucks in Saratoga, for Cops and Robbers playing open-mic at Caffe Lena. (Sidenote- I LOVE Mocha Frappachinos.) We froze to death on our way to CVS to get batteries. It was like a mini tundra. I almost forgot the batteries at the counter too... So it would've made freezing to death pretty pointless. Ha. We walked to where they were playing, and they were unfortunetly one of the last people to pick when they wanted to play... So we stayed until the entire thing ended, which was like, 11:10 or sometime around then. They were pretty good. ;]
Alicia's step-dad was late, so Alicia and I were standing outside, freezing our butts off, until I started dancing/singing to my music to keep warm... haha. I bet she had fun. I cannot sing for anything. Oh well.

Friday/Saturday- Went to the Easter Service at Clifton Park, which went really well. There was no graphics person, so at times I was running and/or stretching to the computer from the video board, which wasn't so fun. But finally Sammy took over the board, while I did graphics. I have never run graphics at Clifton Park for an actual service before and it was pretty cool...
After the service ended, I went over to Carolines for Sarah's party... They stayed up until about 12 or 1, while I was on Carolines laptop for a few hours after that, talking to Paul over aim... Even though he was across the hall.
We spent the entire day just hanging out and such. We watched Enchanted, which we made fun of during the entire movie. It was hilarious.
After Sarah left, the Matula's and I went to the 6:30 service in Malta. I didn't stay, my mom picked me up. Once I got home, I passed out on my bed for a few hours... And I just woke up at 10. It's going to be a very long night for me. Oh well.



See more pictures...

I'm planning on putting up an Easter post sometime tomorrow or Monday. So look forward to it!

St. Patricks Day!

It was one of my longer days. The ones that seem to drag on, and it doesn't look like there is an end in sight. But that's a Monday for you, I suppose.

Today for track, we all wore green. To be festive, yes, but to get free ice cream at Stewart's as well. It was overall an easy workout (several laps around the track), and most of us ran about a mile to Stewart's afterwards. Once I got inside, I completely defrosted. It was so nice and warm in there. We were there for what seemed like 20 minutes waiting for a bowl of ice cream. Once we got it, the place was so packed that some of us decided to go outside and eat. So we went outside, and for some reason it was incredibly windy now and it seemed to have dropped 10 degrees. 20 degrees if you weren't standing in the sun. I'm pretty sure I froze my butt off. Holy crap it was so freaking cold on the way back. I was shivering the majority of the time until I got my blood circulating again. The ice cream was good, so it made the trip worth it, but I'm not entirely sure i'm going to run there next year...